Part 5: Excavating My Desires
This is the fifth piece of a seven-part series on excavating our lived experiences.
The yearnings of our soul carry much wisdom and must be noticed, pondered and honored, as they speak to our desires, which, according to St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus, come directly from God and will be fulfilled by Him.
We have to have the courage to open up our hearts to the ‘Desires of the Soul’ (Dogwood Bud)
Introduction
This is the fifth of a seven-part series on excavating our lived experiences. If you have not done so already, I suggest you first read Finding Foundation - The Lies I Tell Myself to get an overview of the work of excavating.
For those new to the Finding Foundations series, it may be helpful to review the following excerpt. For those who are following the series in chronological order, scroll down to the next paragraph to begin Part 5: Excavating My Desires.
As laid out in the previous posts, we often are a sum of our lived experiences. Lived experiences are like layers of memories piled upon the foundation of who we are. Lived experiences and our memories of them have the potential to reconfirm our identity, or they have the potential to redefine our identity, burying who we are under layers of lies. We will excavate through the layers in chronological order, starting with the first movements of self-persception: My Inheritance. I recommend you set aside a journal or other writing space (perhaps naming it Finding Foundation Journal) so that you can record your thoughts as they arise, no matter what the revelations expose. As memories are unearthed, prayerfully discern whether the memory and the emotions attached to it resonate with your core, or bring discord and dis-ease to your soul. Resonating memories may point to a truth to who you are, unearthing a piece of your foundation, while memories that lack peace may indicate a lie that has settled upon your soul, clouding your foundation.
Part 5: Excavating My Desires
The yearnings of our soul carry much wisdom and must be noticed, pondered and honored, as they speak to our desires, which, according to St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus, come directly from God and will be fulfilled by Him.
“More than ever, I understand that the smallest events of our life are conducted by God; He is the One who makes us desire and who grants our desires…”
[Letter 201 to Father Adolphe Roulland, dated November 1, 1896. Letters of Saint Therese of Lisieux: General Correspondence, Vol. II (1890-1897)]
The challenge, Dear Reader, lies in discerning the difference between aspirations, hopes and dreams driven by the external, and desires, hopes and dreams born from the heart. The next step in Finding Foundation is to use your Core Values of Esteem (uncovered in Part 2: Excavating My Familial Bonds), your Core Values of Self-Image (revealed in Part 3: Excavating Societal Lies), and your personal traditions, beliefs and expressions (discovered in Part 4: Excavating Cultural Lies) to excavate the foundation of your desires. Before we can identify our true desires, those planted in the depth of our being at the Crucible of Creation, we must first unearth those aspirations that may have been born from societal and cultural bonds. The clarity of purpose gained from unearthing the yearnings of our heart brings peace to our being as we identify our vocation and ignites a determination to stand upon this pillar for the remainder of our lives.
The ‘Desires of the Soul’ yearn to bloom (Dogwood Blooms)
Softening the Bonds of Aspirations
*Personal aspirations can be as unique as each individual and often encompass our traditions, beliefs and expressions to form the persona we want people to see in the world. Keep this in mind when engaging with the following questions.
What do I aspire to be?
Aspire to be - a long-term goal for personal advancement
Write down my responses to the question:
What do I aspire to be?
Some personal responses for “What do I aspire to be?” may be:
I want to be a good:
- Mother/father
- Son/daughter
- Wife/husband
- Priest/Pastor/Rabbi, etc.
- Nephew/Niece
- Granddaughter/Grandson
- Friend
- Parent
- Leader
- Manager
- Caretaker
- Learner
- Listener
- Communicator
- Organizer
- Counselor
- Healer
- _____ (insert your profession here)
____
What do I aspire to accomplish?
Aspire to accomplish - a long-term goal for personal achievement
Write down my responses to the question:
What do I aspire to accomplish in my life?
Your personal goals of what you want to accomplish are extremely personal. Trust your gut and list those things that just come to you. They will be as varied as there are people in this world. Some of us want to be on TV, others want to be an accomplished musician, others want to publish a book, others want to raise a large family, others want to visit all 7 continents - the list is endless!
List all of the things you want to accomplish.
*If you are stuck, here are some more general accomplishments to get you started:
I want to:
- Become a stronger communicator
- Improve my time-management skills
- Be more organized
- Network with other like-minded people
- Build a better community
- Mentor the next generation
- Collaborate with like-minded people to achieve a common goal
- Build stronger relationships
- Have my work be my prayer
- Create something new
- Reconstruct something that exists to make it better
- Learn a new skill (insert skill here)
- Be strong in body and mind
- Know God to make Him known
- Be more adaptable
- Be more present
- Live everyday to its fullest
- Be financially stable
- Provide for my family
- Pass down wealth to my children
- Look and feel younger
- Live pain-free
- Be influential in life/Be a thought leader (list specifics)
- Better plan for the future
- Become prayerfully grounded
- Grow in ___ (list a particular virtue)
- Cut out ___ (list a particular vice)
- Have work/life balance
____
You have now completed the hard work of listing out your responses to: what you aspire to be and what you aspire to accomplish. Going forward, we will call this list your ‘Aspirations.’
(Dogwood in full bloom)
My Best Self
My best self: An authentic version of myself living in alignment with my highest values, goals and potential
Write down my responses to the question:
What does the best version of myself look like?
Some personal responses for “What does the best version of myself look like?” may be:
I am:
- Content
- Peaceful
- Generous
- Grateful
- Loving
- Hopeful
- Joyful
- Patient
- Kind
- Faithful
- Gentle
- In control
- Pure
- Integrous
- Confident
- Secure
- Trusting
- Courageous
- Obedient
- Graceful
- Reliable
- Respectful
- Caring
- Compassionate
- Merciful
- Forgiving
- Humble
- Realistic
- Healthy
- Strong
- Tranquil
- Just
- Honest
- Reverent
- Calm
- Prayerful
- Beautiful
- Truthful
- Righteous
- Temperate
- Determined
- Passionate
- Constant
- Bold/Zealous
- Responsible
- Logical
- Careful
- Free
- Tranquil
- Balanced
- Supportive
- Practical
- Aligned
- Wise
- Genuine
____
You have now completed the hard work of listing out your responses to: what does the best version of myself look like? Going forward, we will call this list your ‘Best Self.’
My Aspirations vs. the Desires of My Soul
The final step in the process is to sift through your responses to differentiate aspirations from the desires of the soul. To do this with integrity of heart, it is best to have your Core Values of Esteem and Core Values of Self-Image next to you. With a prayerful pause, go through each ‘Aspiration’ and circle those words and phrases that best align with your Core Values. The circled aspirations, together with your Core Values should start to weave together your personal story that tells of your unique value and vocation - one that should begin to echo the truth about the desires of your soul. The last step is to compare your now edited down ‘Aspirations’ list to your ‘Best Self’ list. Circle the traits/virtues on your 'Best Self’ list that best align with your newly edited ‘Aspirations.’ Your two lists (Aspirations & Best Self) now make up a blueprint of the desires of your soul - we will now combine these two lists into one and refer to them as your ‘Desires.’
Congratulations, Dear Excavator! You have now completed the great work of noticing. The next step is to take the newly forged list of Desires to your small cell of prayer to ponder what it is the Holy Spirit may be speaking to you. This important work of pondering will reveal even more depth to your Desires and may even inspire new words to be added to your list. Trust the still small voice of the soul and sit in a wellspring of peace and surety! The Desires that you claim and take with you on your journey through Finding Foundation will help you stand more firmly on the pillar of vocation. Keep this list, the Core Values of Esteem, Core Values of Self-Image and list of personal traditions, beliefs and expressions near as you will reference them all in the next section on excavating fears.
Dear Excavator,
May the process of separating cultural aspirations from soul desires bring you peace and give new life to the child born in the Crucible of Creation many years ago. You were made for greatness and have been given a most extraordinary inheritance through the Father of Creation. May you stand more firmly on the Pillar of Vocation as you better understand yourself and the desires of the soul deeply planted within you. May the foundational Pillars of Value and Vocation emerge more clearly to give you a strong reference point built on Truth and Goodness. Rest, Dear Excavator, in the dew of the Spirit so that refreshment, peace and hope may begin to reign in your heart.
Yours Truly,
Michelle
