We Must Remember
Excavation requires the courage to stand in the presence of the truth. We must look at ourselves with truthful eyes. Take a deep breath. Be brave.
Let’s begin.
Little Skellig and Skellig Michael Islands as seen from Kerry Cliffs, Ireland
To excavate the foundation of the soul one must first remember. Remember the incredible miracle of personhood - that there is no other creature like human beings in the known world. The delicate dance of physical, mental and spiritual essence encased in a most holy temple of the body. This very body was made in the images and likeness of God, our Creator - the One Who Loves us. We are holy and most wonderfully made! We are made for love and our Creator wants to give that love to us freely.
Before many of us can accept this truth, we must first excavate the many layers of dirt that has been thrust upon us, burying our foundation. The work of excavation must be done slowly and with great care and gentleness, otherwise we risk damaging the very foundation we seek to restore. Excavation requires the courage to stand in the presence of the truth. We must look at ourselves with truthful eyes, not with the eyes of what we would like to be or allow the alluring mask that we project to the world to take hold and distort what it is we actually believe about ourselves. Take a deep breath. Be brave. Let’s begin.
The layers of dirt discovered during excavation is a time capsule into past lived experiences and the memories they hold. Each memory found in the layers has potential to hold an emotional response. The emotional responses to lived experiences are often what we cling to and what weave the story we tell about ourselves. We must unearth memories with great gentleness, for they will often trigger strong emotional responses that can be felt throughout our body, mind and soul. This is why excavation must be taken slowly and unearthed layer-by-layer. The Wisdom of the Creator often gives us opportunities to excavate untruths in the uncomfortable moments of our lives. What makes a moment uncomfortable can be a signal that the soul is groaning under the weight of the layers of lies yearning to be freed, yearning to be loved. The work of excavation takes a lifetime, but there is still much we can do. We can respond to unprompted uncomfortable moments with a contemplative pause and we can proactively dig through small layers of self-presception to come to a place of greater self-knowledge, acceptance and freedom.
Ancient Stairs - Skellig Michael, Ireland
It is time to remember. We will unearth two memories: a recent uncomfortable moment and a deeper look into how that uncomfortableness may connect to a deeper memory currently being held amongst the layers of dirt.
The Spirit speaks through uncomfortable experiences:
Think of a recent ‘bad day.’
Was there a trigger (an event, word, or mood) that sparked a chain of events or negative feelings?
(If not, you may want to go directly to the article titled The Lies I Tell Myself.)
What was my initial emotional response to the trigger?
Is there another specific time in my life where I felt that same emotion strongly?
Is there more than one memory that holds the same emotion?
If so, do I see a pattern in the memories? Do they all hold something, someone or some space in common?
Can I name a current truth I hold from this memory or these similar memories?
Is the current truth I hold true to who I am? Does it reflect my foundation?
If not, what is one thing I can do, think or say differently to ground myself to my foundation?
Shall I write this down to keep myself accountable?
Here is an example from my own life of how this exercise may progress.
Think of a recent ‘bad day.’
Was there a trigger (an event, word, or mood) that sparked a chain of events or negative feelings?
My work schedule was interrupted yet again for someone else’s desires.
What was my initial emotional response to the trigger?
Anger - it has been happening a lot lately and I went straight to anger.
Is there another specific time in my life where I felt that same emotion strongly?
Yes. Anger quickly arises when my desires are consistently disregarded.
Is there more than one memory that holds the same emotion?
The above happened quite often. I can think of several instances.
If so, do I see a pattern in the memories? Do they all hold something, someone or some space in common?
Last minute requests dumped on me and passive aggressive behavior create the perfect storm for anger to arise.
Can I name a current truth I hold from this memory or these similar memories?
I am here to blindly serve others with no regard to my yearnings and desires
Is the current truth I hold true to who I am? Does it reflect my foundation?
No. Some tasks asked of me pull me away from my central purpose and mission or work in opposition to my foundation.
If not, what is one thing I can do, think or say differently to ground myself to my foundation?
I can sift the unexpected requests/desires of others through the sieve of purpose. If it does not align with my mission of the moment I can politely decline, ask that it be done at a different time, or ask for a deeper conversation to work through potential schedule/task/mission-aligned conflicts.
I can respond to passive aggressive remarks/actions by ignoring them. People choose their own emotions - it is not my job to make someone happy. Happiness is a choice.
Shall I write this down to keep myself accountable?
Already done! (see above) 🙂
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Experience is the most gracious teacher and uncovers little-by-little small truths about our soul that we need to accept and love. In the above example, my learned behavior was to respond to other’s needs immediately and without regard to my own desires or needs, often done with the main purpose to keep the peace. I have worked throughout my life to let go of the lie that my desires don’t matter. With time and guidance I have uncovered the truth that our mission and purpose often lie at the root of our desires and that our deepest desires should not be ignored. I have also learned that it is okay if people are disappointed, as it often speaks more of their personal expectations than of their perception of me. I have uncovered a piece of my foundation: I am to serve through the mission given to me by God.
Ruins - Skellig Michael, Ireland
Dear Excavator,
May you begin your journey to greater self-knowledge by engaging in the process of unearthing. Have courage to remember. Look at yourself, your emotions and your learned behaviors with love and kindness. You are not defined by your memories, you have a foundation of greatness given to you by our most gracious Creator. You are a gift to the world and you have an important mission grounded in purpose and Truth. May you gently work through the layers to uncover the truth of who you are before the Eye of God. You are loved. You deserve love. You are made for love.
Yours Truly,
Michelle
