Part 7: Excavating My Loves
This is the seventh and final piece of a seven-part series on excavating our lived experiences.
The journey through ‘Finding Foundation’ brings us to the culminating stage of deepening self-knowledge, the purification of our loves. The true task of living is for us to honor the gift of our foundation by bringing awareness to our tendency towards self-love and choosing a different, yet more difficult, way - the way of perfect love.
Maple Leaf
Introduction
This is the seventh and final piece of a seven-part series on excavating our lived experiences. If you have not done so already, I suggest you first read Finding Foundation - The Lies I Tell Myself to get an overview of the work of excavating.
For those new to the Finding Foundations series, it may be helpful to review the following excerpt. For those who are following the series in chronological order, scroll down to the next paragraph to begin Part 5: Excavating My Desires.
As laid out in the previous posts, we often are a sum of our lived experiences. Lived experiences are like layers of memories piled upon the foundation of who we are. Lived experiences and our memories of them have the potential to reconfirm our identity, or they have the potential to redefine our identity, burying who we are under layers of lies. We will excavate through the layers in chronological order, starting with the first movements of self-persception: My Inheritance. I recommend you set aside a journal or other writing space (perhaps naming it Finding Foundation Journal) so that you can record your thoughts as they arise, no matter what the revelations expose. As memories are unearthed, prayerfully discern whether the memory and the emotions attached to it resonate with your core, or bring discord and dis-ease to your soul. Resonating memories may point to a truth to who you are, unearthing a piece of your foundation, while memories that lack peace may indicate a lie that has settled upon your soul, clouding your foundation.
Part 7: Excavating My Loves
The journey through Finding Foundation brings us to the culminating stage of deepening self-knowledge, the purification of our loves. We stand most firmly upon the pillars of Value and Vocation with open arms and unclenched hands; one hand to receive the Gift, the other hand to allow the Gift to flow through us and back into the world. The core of our being lies in the balance between the two movements of receiving and giving; therefore, our life work becomes the Breath. It is our duty to remain in alignment so that the great Breathwork of the Creator can animate, inspire and co-create life with His Creation. We must; therefore, have the courage to call on the Winds of Prudence and Fortitude to come and purify our self-love through Presence and Trusting Assurance (Surety).
A soul mis-aligned bows first to the god of self, stopping the flow of the Breath. The true task of living is for us to honor the gift of our foundation by bringing awareness to our tendency towards self-love and choosing a different, yet more difficult, way - the way of perfect love. This is why the Wind of Prudence presents before us the Gift of Presence so that we may become more open to God and to others. The Gift of the Present Moment is the seed of our eternal inheritance and within the unfurling of time it patiently awaits our attention, reception and response. By being attentive to the Gift of Presence we begin to move from a self-absorbed irreverence to a posture of holy awe and reverence–reverence for the Creator, reverence for the dignity of others and reverence for the unique personhood of self. To better align ourselves with the present moment, we must exercise our ability to attend and receive so that we may courageously respond to the flow of the Breath in our lives.
Maple Trees
Prudence: The Gift of Presence
Moving from a posture of mis-alignment to one of alignment, holy awe and reverence
– Fortifying My Attention–
Answer the following questions as truthfully as possible.
Silent moments of recollection may be necessary to fully bring forth your truth.
Self-Assessment:
How well do I notice details in my day-to-day life?
Some things to consider…
Do I notice:
- The color of clothing worn by others?
- The sound of birds chirping?
- The subtle smell of flowers?
- The changing natural landscape on my daily commute?
- The sensation of warmth, chill, dew, etc. on my skin as I venture outside?
- The emotional state of those I meet as detected in their body language and facial expressions?
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Do I notice subtle inner responses to the various activities I engage in?
Some things to consider…
Do I notice:
- My body’s response to a nutritious meal? A brisk walk
- The response of my body and mind to a warm beverage? To a cold drink?
- My inner soul's response to loud sounds?
- The inner energy of an action-packed day or routine?
- The response of my mind and body to unkind words? To kind words? To loud words? To soft words?
- My body transitioning from a state of sleepiness to alertness or from a state of alertness to sleepiness?
- The response of my body and mind to the feel of warm water on my hands?
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Do I notice the presence of others?
Some things to consider…
Do I notice:
- When someone enters the room even if my back is to the entrance or door?
- Emotional state of others as felt in their energy?
- The mishaps/messes of others?
- The kind/thoughtful acts of others?
- Facial expressions before, during and after conversations and engagement?
- Energy level of others as indicated in their eyes?
- Body language cues: arms/legs crossed, open/closed body posture, shifting/still eyes, tense/relaxed shoulders, etc?
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Do I notice the presence of the Creator?
Some things to consider…
Do I notice:
- The sunrise, sunset or other celestial phenomenon present in my day?
- The sudden positive change in my emotional state, such as feelings of peace, joy, contentment, etc.?
- When time seems to stand still?
- The flora and fauna outside my home?
- Subtle seasonal changes in light, warmth and moisture?
- An inner ‘knowing’ or ‘promptings’ to my private thoughts, discernments or queries?
- Unprompted gifts that bring utmost joy; such as: a beautiful snowy day, a special visit from a friend, a good conversation, an inspiring book, moments of creative ‘flow’, solutions to a problem, etc.
Fallen Maple Leaves
– Receiving the Gift –
To realign ourselves with the Breath, we must make a plan to better notice and receive the gifts of the present moment. The following prompts are to assist you in identifying one (but no more than 3) small habit of attention that you may want to incorporate into your life at this time. Start small and revisit this list as often as you feel prompted to!
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Reverence for Myself - Realigning My Body, Mind and Soul:
Ways I may better attend to the gift of my body, mind and soul throughout my day.
(You are encouraged to choose only one practice to help you build greater awareness of your body, mind and soul.)
I can bring greater reverence to myself by…
Some examples may be:
Dawning Ritual
Create a morning ‘dawning’ routine by going outside at sunrise to notice the changes in light and temperature and the sounds and stirrings of creation. As you notice these things, also notice how your body moves from a state of sleepiness to greater alertness. Pause and give thanks for the gift!
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Nourishment Ritual
When consuming food or drink, take a moment to notice your physical, mental and emotional state before you begin. Consume the fruits of the earth slowly, with intention and with gratitude. After finishing, take a moment to notice any changes to your physical, mental and emotional state. Does fullness and abundance flow forth from you?
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Contentment Ritual
Engage in an activity by yourself. Choose one, non-technology driven activity which brings you peace and contentment (reading a book, painting or other art form, completing a puzzle/crossword/sudoku, leisure baking or cooking, bathing, leisure gardening, meditating, going for a leisurely walk, etc). Notice your physical, mental and emotional state before you begin. After finishing, take a moment to notice any changes to your physical, mental and emotional state. Does contentment and peace flow forth from you?
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Offering Ritual
In moments of mental disequilibrium, bring the worries, what-if’s and ruminations to an offering bowl (imaginative or real). Place each worry, anxiety or rumination into the bowl and offer it up to the Hands of God. Light a candle or incense (imaginative or real) and ask the Holy Spirit of Peace to take over, care for your needs and fill you with peace. Release the mental disequilibrium and watch it rise up with the smoke of the candle/incense. Pause and gift thanks for the gift!
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Cleansing Ritual
When engaging in cleaning chores of the day, align your intentions with the actions you are performing to bring joy and cleanliness to your entire being. Some ideas may be: When making your bed, thank God for making you. When doing the dishes, thank God for the food eaten and that which will be consumed in the future. When sweeping, mopping, dusting, thank God for cleansing you from your mishaps and mistakes and ask Him to help you forgive those who have made mishaps and mistakes against you. When doing laundry, thank God for giving you an able body and thank Him for your family members who are able to serve by fulfilling their vocation.
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Dusking Ritual
Create an evening ‘dusking’ routine by going outside at sunset to notice the changes in light and temperature and the sounds and stirrings of creation. As you notice these things, also notice how your body moves from a state of alertness to greater stillness. Perhaps invite others into your dusking routine to help build those relationships most important to you. Adding a special beverage, soft music or soft lighting to the mix may also help bring greater reverence to the ritual. Pause and give thanks for the many gifts of the day!
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Night Ritual
Create a night routine by purposely going outside after the sun has set to engage with creation in a new way. Turning on low-lit string lights, lighting a candle or gathering around a fire pit can help bring reverence to the gift of fire and light. Sky-gaze by noticing the heavenly bodies and the changing of the moon phases. Ponder how the God of the Universe thought of you, created you and placed you in the presence of such a sublime creation. Pause and give thanks for the gift!
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Slumber Ritual
Create a bedtime ritual by purposely caring for your body, mind and soul.
- Choose one fortifying ritual for your body
Examples may be: drinking non-caffeinated herbal tea, putting on a facial/hair mask, moisturizing, setting an aromatic diffuser, wearing warm pajamas, etc.
- Choose one fortifying ritual for your mind
Examples may be: journaling, reading, listening to music, etc.
- Choose one fortifying ritual for your soul
Examples may be: Reading spiritual books, Compline (night prayer), examination of conscience, prayers of thanksgiving for the gifts of the day, prayers to ask God for a restful night and peaceful dreams.
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Tree Guild
Reverence for Others - Realigning My Relationships
Ways I may better attend to the gift of others throughout my day.
I can bring greater reverence to others by…
Some examples may be:
Reverence of Thought:
How can I suspend judgement of the other’s words and actions? Is there an alternative perspective I can take? Why does their behavior trigger negative judgement? What do my initial thoughts teach me about myself?
Name one trait you admire about this person. Next time a negative judgement encroaches your mind, breathe in this word/trait and breathe out love.
Reverence of Word:
How can I suspend my impulsive reaction to the words and actions of another? Is there an alternative perspective I can take? Why does their behavior trigger a reaction? What does my initial impulse teach me about myself?
When tempted to respond to an imperfection, misdeed or mistake made by another, pause and ponder.
Pause and breathe in 3 deep breaths.
Ponder by mentally naming the behavior or word that has triggered a response.
Breathe out a reflective statement: “I hear that you are angry,” “I see that I have upset you,” “I notice that….”
Finally, truly listen to the other’s words to hear their perspective. It may be helpful if you can recall a similar time you have felt or acted the way the other is acting to help build an empathetic lens. Ask for forgiveness if needed and/or continue the conversation from a posture of community-building. Let the Breath be your guide.
Reverence of Actions:
How can I move from a posture of response to one of anticipation? Oftentimes we do not act on another’s behalf until it is absolutely necessary to do so. Living in this reactive way can often bring about feelings of resentment, irritation and frustration. Living from a posture of anticipation helps free our relationships from the shackles of self-love and brings about greater unity and satisfaction in our relationships.
Some ways to approach life from a posture of anticipation may be:
If you see a need, attend to it right away (Empty soap dispenser, fill it.)
Make a mess, clean it
Offer to go last
Do a small chore or act of love that you know will delight another person
Notice the emotional state of those around you & bring a positive countenance
Prioritize as opposed to procrastinate
Viewing the world through an abundance mindset (noticing gifts and positive outcomes) instead of a negative mindset (critiquing and noticing imperfections)
Respond to the mental/physical fatigue of others by taking on one of their responsibilities unannounced
Accentuate special milestones of others through joy and celebration
Pinecone
Reverence for the Creator - Realigning My Capacity to Listen to the Inner Presence
Ways I may better attend to the gift of God throughout my day.
I can bring greater reverence to God by…
Some examples may be:
Reverence of Thought:
One way to realign our thoughts with God is to notice His stamp upon creation.
Noticing God in Rare Phenomenon:
Solar or lunar eclipse
Rainbows
Aurora Borealis
Experiencing the ‘Green Flash’ at sunset
Perfect weather (the one that delights you most)
Encounter with a rare creature or plant life
Noticing God in Common Phenomenon:
The cycles of tides and moon phases
The celestial cycle of stars, planets and constellations
Changing of the seasons (leaves, flowers, sun, rain)
Sunrise and sunset
Noticing God in Large Moments:
Weddings
Baptisms
Milestone Celebrations
Holiday Celebrations
New Beginnings
Accomplished Endings
Noticing God in Small Moments:
Family dinner
Smile that touches the eyes
Playfulness, humor and laughter
Warmth during the season of cold
Refreshment during the season of hot
Stillness of quietude
Noticing small creatures and plant life
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Reverence of Word:
One way to realign ourselves with God is to notice His still small voice.
God may speak in the following ways:
(These are suggestions as to the most common ways God has ‘spoken’ to or touched the lives of others. Many books of the saints have recounted their personal experience with God ‘speaking’ to them. Seek those out for more in-depth content on ways God may speak to us.)
Through Holy Scripture
Through an inner ‘knowing,’ especially present after sitting in quiet solitude
Through a ‘gut feeling’
A particularly memorable phrase/words in a book
A particularly memorable phrase/words said by others
Words written down by you during a thoughtful reflective writing session
Through dreams or a feeling of déjà vu
Directly and audibly, often only in short phrases or with one word
Through repetitive occurrences
Through gifts of nature (natural experiences that particularly delight you)
Through an infusion of intense positive feelings; such as: consolation, joy, peace, contentment, love, trust
Though rare, some saints have physically seen/engaged with Jesus, other Saints, Our Lady, or holy angels
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Reverence of Action:
One way to realign ourselves with God is to notice Him acting in the world through others.
I encounter God in the following ways:
(These are some ways God has ‘encountered’ or touched the lives of others. Many people have their own personal accounts of ways they have experienced God, and there is a good chance you do too! There are also many books of the saints that have recounted their personal experience with experiencing God. Seek those out for more in-depth content on ways we may encounter God.)
Stories of heroic acts, often with miraculous outcomes
Stories of daily heroic acts of people serving others without exhaustion or fatigue
Witnessing or being a part of acts of kindness
A community lifting up the personal intentions of another
Raising children & grandchildren
Through the words and actions of the young and innocent
Through seemingly miraculous peaceful outcomes where war and strife once were present
Love and forgiveness in the face of crime or evil
The steady service of another towards you
Welcoming words and actions
Through smiles, laughter and joyful people
Hopefulness
Through the artistic expression of another
Through the defense of Truth
Noticing God in common phenomenon - Sunset
Once we are in the habit of noticing the Breath in us, in others and throughout creation, we fall in love. Our love shifts from one of disjointed disequilibrium to one of fullness, satisfaction and balance as we hold the Breath within our own essence. The Breath does not stay stagnant - It urges us to release It into the world in the form of Love. This zeal, longing, and yearning that builds within is the Wind of Fortitude bursting forth to shower us with the Gift of Surety so that we may have the courage to go into the world to bring life to our identity and mission.
The final stage in Finding Foundation is for us to identify areas of mistrust and avoidance so that we may rely more fully on the Surety of the Breath.
Fortitude: The Gift of Surety
Moving from a posture of avoidance and mistrust to one of assurance and peace
– Fortifying My Trust –
Answer the following questions as truthfully as possible.
Silent moments of recollection may be necessary to fully bring forth your truth.
In what ways am I living from a posture of mistrust?
Some examples may be:
I often find myself trapped in a psychological cycle of “what ifs”
I view the world through a lens of imperfections
I consistently seek validation outside of myself
I often become overwhelmed by the presence of evil in the world
I blame others for the problems in my family, my community or the world
I live with an “us vs them” mentality
In what ways am I living from a posture of unacceptance?
Some examples may be: (list specifics if you find that helpful)
I dwell on my own imperfections and limitations
I dwell on the imperfections and limitations of others
I dwell on the imperfections and limitations of the world
In what ways does my unacceptance manifest in avoidance?
Some examples may be:
I engage in too much screen time (mindless scrolling)
I prioritize digital connections and digital culture over in-person engagement
I procrastinate
I over-book my calendar
I over-indulge in _____
I consistently fantasize or escape into fantasy literature, shows and movies
In what ways can I build greater trust in the Breath?
Some ideas may be:
Offer the day’s mishaps and successes to the Will of the Wind
Notice 3 small blessings or gifts that have blossomed from the day’s work
Trust ‘your gut’ when making a decision. Start small until the habit of listening is formed.
Turn off the news circuit and become more present to your local community
Engage in a daily ritual so as to help bring your awareness to the presence of the Breath
Sit in quietude each day to listen to the Still Small Voice within
Keep a journal of answered prayers to reference during times of anxiety and mistrust
What is the Wind of Fortitude asking me to courageously accomplish?
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The Longview
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Rejoice, Dear Excavator! You have come to the end of your journey to Finding Foundation! It is one task to ‘find’ foundation, it is another to accept, firmly stand upon, and bravely declare what it is that encompasses your unique foundation, the one gifted to you in the Crucible of Creation. Chances are there is still work to be done, as excavating the lies of our life may leave debris and the encrusted residue of our lived experiences; however, it is time to honor the journey you have taken and rest in the quiet surety of ‘knowing.’
Know you are loved.
Know you are enough.
Know you are created for great things.
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Dear Excavator,
May you have the courage to stand firmly upon your unique foundation. Stretch out your arms and unclench your hands to receive the Great Gift of Breath. Allow the Four Winds of the Breath to nourish, fortify, console and shelter you so that you can bring the Gifts of Choice, Perspective, Presence and Surety to the four corners of the world. May you continuously be inspired to excavate your lived experiences so that you can live in true freedom, responding always to the gentle Breath - your Creator, your Love.
Go forth bravely, Dear Soul, and live the life you were meant to live!
Yours Truly,
Michelle
